Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Presumptuous Cross Stitching

I have been a little under the weather still with the cold that refuses to die and have been getting quite a bit of crafting in. I'm also madly in love with my current audiobook (The Fiery Cross- part 5 in the Outlander series) and have been making time and probably staying up later than I should so that I can sneak in one more chapter. But that one more chapter means one more color in my cross stitching or a couple more rows on the red lace thing. I do love multitasking.

But I was ripping out green that was supposed to be orange on my Harvest Home cross stitching and I decided I was a little bit angry at it. And not just because I had a brain-fart and starting stitching a green pumpkin. My cross stitching says "Welcome To Our Harvest Home". Okay, right now it says "To Our" but that's the part that's pissing me off.
Isn't "Our" Harvest Home a little presumptuous? What if it's a single girl that just really gets in to Autumnal decorations? Here are a couple scenarios that make me want to rip out OUR and put MY Harvest Home because I'm selfish and single. If you enjoy them, I might share another poorly written scenario with you for giggles.

Scenario 1. 3 years from now. "Paige, you're amazing. I just love the way your house smells like cinnamon and dreams." The handsome Scot rolled the "r" in dreams, just the way Paige had imagined he would. She could feel his passion bulging as they slammed in to the wall, barely making it in to her adorable little bungalow before layers of clothes began to drop to the floor. True, they had only been together for a month, but Paige knew that she had found the love her of life in this Gaelic man. "The bedroom is this way...just passed the spinning wheel and to the left," or at least she started to say this before his mouth found hers in sweet kisses. He fumbled for the light switch and instead, knocked a picture off the wall, glass shattering across the rustic wood floor. Paige turned on the light, and in the illumination he saw the way her long blond curls blew in the wind, regardless of there presently being no wind.

"Our Harvest Home." He looked puzzled. "We've only been together a month, Sassenach. I think it was a bit early to start cross stitching things about OUR Harvest Home."

"But Ian, I made it years ago, I was too lazy to change the pattern to "My" Harvest Home."

"I can't, Paige. I just can't."

Ian shifted his plaid shirt that made him look slightly like a lumberjack, covering his 8-pack abs from her view. She knew this was the last time she would ever see Ian, but she stood frozen, shards of broken glass surrounding her fabulous 9 West stiletto heels, frozen, as she watched him turn and leave her life forever.

Scenario 2. 20 years from now. "Dad, I think Aunt Paige is delusional." Clay knew his son was right, she hadn't been in her right mind for nearly 17 years now. Her spinning wheel sat in a pile of dust, and she picked up balls of yarn randomly, calling them the names of her deceased cats. She had also recently picked up a Scottish accent, though she had not been in years. Clay's son spoke again. "Was she married? Who did she have a harvest home with?" Clay shook his head. "Nobody, son, nobody. She never married. And it drove her crazy. So why don't you pick a few things that will go nicely in her room in the looney bin."

So yeah....a little over the top but that's just how my brain works when it's 2 am, I can't sleep and I'm cross stitching words intended for people in wedded bliss.

So moving on....

Here's the next installment of Guess- That-Lace! This one is a little bigger and maybe someone will have a guess as to what is it...ready set go!

And finally...I'm taking a quilting class next month! And I'm super-pumped! And I went to the fabric store and picked out my 18 colors today! Squee!


Bonnie said...

I think you should change it to My if it's going to bug you. (I think I would change it, too.) I notice things that seem to imply Andrew and I aren't a family because we don't have kids, and I'm sure there are a ton of stupid things around that imply everyone is supposed to be married/partnered. It's bogus. We're perfect just the way we are. Stitch on!

Where are you taking the quilting class?

Paige Darling said...

I really don't think it will bother me all that much. I feel like I'd regret it if I wrote "My" and then found someone to make it "Our"s. Besides, I have 2 kitties, so our house is an "Our" house anyway.