Dirty Thirty and One

It's been a crazy few weeks in the Good For Ewe house, and an extra crazy Memorial Day Weekend, but mostly the good kind of crazy.

Firstly, we had a couple birthdays.  Tia turned 1 this past Wednesday, and I turned 30 on Saturday.  I said goodbye to my 20's (especially to 29- the hardest year of my life) watching Deadpool 2 and then going to a dive bar with friends and having a far too much bourbon.  The next day we had the family birthday party at my parents' house and that was huge and a great time too. Tia and I were both spoiled rotten.

I've actually gotten a bit of knitting done lately- I worked on Le Sock for a couple hours this weekend and finished the leg, made the heel flap, turned the heel and am into the gusset.  I made the first sleeve of my Breathing Space sweater last week, and I'm not stressing out about July 14th "we'll all wear our Breathing Space" date.  We have a family wedding in KY this weekend, and I'm hoping there will be enough daylight time in the car that I'll be able to finish the second sleeve, or Le Sock, part deux.

I've also been in the dye dungeon quite a bit working on a new really deep purple which is named Plummy Fortescue.  I had really high hopes on it being a good Colorful Cause yarn, because I made a batch of 15 for Pittsburgh and sold out in about 2 hours.  I dyed up about 50 and put it up for sale with $10 from each skein going to Operation Smile, but have only sold 5.  I'll probably pull it soon and make my donation and then just hang on to it for my next show and try to raise money there. I absolutely love how it turned out though, and I might put 6 aside for myself for a nice cardigan. 

I've also done a tiny bit of weaving (it's not portable, so it doesn't happen very often).  I've been telling weavers at shows for years how awesome my lace yarn is for weaving, but I don't have any woven samples to prove it.  So I bought a stand for my loom so I can comfortably use it, and I'm about halfway through a scarf.  I had really high hopes of this going quickly and I had visions of handing all my friends gorgeous woven scarves for Christmas, but those hopes are fizzling out.  I'll try to weave more soon with a nice audiobook.  The reality is this: I'm really bad at weaving.  I know practice makes perfect, and my edges will look nicer with time and experience, but I hate being bad at things.  I know in order to be really good at something, you have to be willing to suck at it, but that doesn't make it easier.  I'm also not loving my current audiobook, so I'm hoping a change of story will change the fate of my scarf. Yarn is Mirrorball by Good For Ewe, color is "Toil & Trouble". 

And lastly, I've been landscaping.  A lot.  So much digging.  At least I was until it started hitting 98 degrees every day, now I'm mostly just watering.  One of the things I love most about our yard is it's potential, which means "it's currently a mess but I'm determined". I spent a few weeks digging up and pulling ivy and vinca to free up some flower beds, and then I amended the soil after that with peat and gypsum.  I have a garden now, and it looks really good but I'll be fighting the weeds for a long time since that's what that flower bed was last year. I've also planted some shrubs to grow into a nice flowering hedge along the side of the house, and wrapping around the back yard I'm planting edible shrubs.  So far I've got 6 lingonberries, 3 kinds of currant, 1 blackberry and 2 raspberries. The lingonberries came as small shrubs but the currants, raspberries and blackberry came as bare root plants.  Currants came from a proper nursery, and it has been magical to watch them spring into life and start shooting out leaves.  They are new enough that you can literally see progress every day after watering a bare stick for a couple weeks. This is a picture of the Pink Champagne currant, which was planted about a week before the other currants and 3 weeks before the raspberries, so it's the most excited to be here. The raspberries and blackberry came from a freeze dried package at Lowe's, so my hopes aren't quite as high, but neither was my investment. I know that I'm at least 3 years away from a respectable berry crop (ie enough for pies and jams) and I'll need to purchase some nets to keep the critters out, but I'm excited regardless.  The idea of just going to the back yard and picking berries is very exciting to me. I remember picking berries with my mom when I was little and I want Tia to have that memory too. Plus I really love pie. 

And lastly, I've been job hunting.  I've been a work-from-home mom with Good For Ewe now for a year, and it's been hard.  I knew it would be hard, but I didn't think I'd have such a hard time with the isolation of working from home.  I know there's people who thrive in this environment, but I'm just not one of them. It's like trying to grow a sunflower in the shade- doable, but there's better plants for that spot and better places for the sunflower. Anyhow, Tia is one, and I need to get a better job and make more money so that I can put more aside for her future and mine.  I need better insurance so Gavin breaking a leg doesn't set us back 3 years again. And I need to have something that's mine again. So I'm going back to work.  I've applied for a couple things, but haven't heard back yet.  My goal is to be employed and insured by November so we can drop the Marketplace insurance, which is so expensive and really very worthless. But until I hear back, I'm going to tackle as many home and yard improvement projects as I can, because once I go back to work full time it probably just won't happen.  (Really, we've had a half painted wall over a year because I went into labor the day we were going to finish it.  It's time for it to be done.)

Spring Shows Without the Spring

The calendar says that Spring is here, and the daffodils are optimistic (as are the snow peas, spinach, and rhubarb) but it keeps freaking snowing.  It was 85 degrees on Friday as I left town and 43 as I got back last night, and sure enough, it's snowing again right now.

My return home last night actually marked the end of Spring show season for me.  It only had a few shows in it- I applied for many but didn't make it in (seriously, if you have to pay a jury fee to apply, they can have the decency to let you know for sure if you didn't make it). The last two weekends I've been to Pittsburgh and Ann Arbor, and both were good shows for me.  I was able to make my Roth IRA deposit for 2017 after Pittsburgh, and I can pay my property taxes after Ann Arbor, neither of which is very fun, but hey- I had a goal and I met it. Future Paige had better be damned happy about how hard I've worked this month for her.

Here's my April highlight: 

Last year I attended Pittsburgh and had my favorite sweater worked into the booth, since I was way too pregnant to wear it. This woman (Chris) saw it, and had to have it in green.  This sweater gets a lot of attention, but this was the first time I've seen someone follow through with it.  She and I both wore our sweaters on Saturday, and she totally made my show.  She also brought some of her friends to buy my yarn, which also is nice. 

The shows are hard work for me, but also a really nice break.  Tia stays home with hubby and I get to go be an adult and have adult conversations about things other than "did the baby poop today?".  I went out to dinner with new friends, went to a bar with some on Saturday night, and then went to the shows and made my share of our family income for a while.  They're exhausting, and I miss my baby, but they're such a great feeling.  Especially when someone shows up in a matching sweater.  

Here's Tia working on the boat with her dad while I was gone.

I've been feeling better (more on that later) and crafting a bit more, so here's my project update.

Le Socks: zero progress. Maybe a row or 2 but I don't think I've worked on them for a while.

Breathing Space (on Ravelry called Wheezing Space): is slow going, but going well.  I've made it past all the waist shaping and finished the striping on the body.  A few inches of plain blue stockinette stitch and then 1x1 twisted ribbing to go.  It's on size 4's and it's just not the most exciting knit ever, and I only ever seem to work on it in the booth.  I'll try to keep it going now that I'm home for a while. 

Commission Quilt:  is going well.  Had to stop working on it for a while since my sewing machine was doing funny things, but I'm back at it and hoping to finish it this week so I can have it off my plate and get paid for it.  It's not much money, but it will be nice to have it finished.  I also have 3 other baby quilts to crank out and this one is in the way.

Oh! I actually did a little shopping at my yarn festivals! Over 2 shows I bought 3 things.

1. Black currant jam from a lady in Ann Arbor.  It was $4. I have been redoing all of our landscaping and am seriously considering putting in black currants on the side of the house where we ripped out some holly bushes.  I talked to the currant lady for a good long time about her fruit, and I think it was a sign from the gardening gods that she was there.  I bought some jam and if Gavin likes it, I will definitely plant some currant bushes.  If he doesn't like it, I'll probably plant them anyway and buy grape jelly for him at Trader Joe's. No picture, it's a jar of jam.

2. A Kromski Harp (rigid heddle loom) Stand.  Not a completely random purchase. I've had a Harp loom for several years and have barely used it because it's not comfortable to use it on the floor, and when it's on the table it slides awkwardly.  So it sits unused in the basement.  I decided a couple months ago to just buy a stand next time I saw a Kromski dealer at a festival, and lo and behold I was next to one all weekend in Ann Arbor, and they were really nice ladies.  I paid for my stand, it will be here Friday (probably).  I will weave some lace weight scarves.  Everyone might be getting merino scarves for Christmas. Eventually, I will work my way up to a tartan, and I have had the yarn for it (also sitting in the basement) for about 5 years now, but my skills need to be a little more built up before I attempt it. I am most excited about this purchase. 

3.  I bought some yarn. That's 2 projects' worth this year! I did go about 3 years without buying yarn though, so no guilt here.  It's by Destination Yarns, the dyer is now one of my new trade show dinner and bourbon buddies. 

I didn't tell Jeanne (the dyer) this, but I feel like this yarn has been my mood for the past year.  Gray, with bursts of extreme color and emotion.  I'm also just really into gray right now. Anyhow, I like it, and I might make socks out of this next if I ever finish Le Socks.  

Speaking of mood, I have been doing really well.  I started taking CBD oil, which is hemp but without the THC so there's no high.  Perfectly legal, just hard to buy because I live in a super conservative state.  I've also been busy with yarn shows, and now that that's over for a bit (I am teaching a class in 2 weeks but that's minimal busyness) I really need to find something meaningful for the summer months- and hopefully generate a bit of income from that. Gotta stay busy.  But things have been so much better on the CBD oil, and unlike anything else I've ever tried, there's no side effects.  Better mood, more energy, and I'm a believer.

Baby is up, gotta run. 

Identity

I think one of the biggest issues I keep bumping into since having Tia is my identity.

For years, I've identified as an artist or art teacher, an entrepreneur or small business owner, a "Software Development Liaison", whatever. When I introduced myself to someone new, it ultimately depended on how much I felt like talking.  Artist or Entrepreneur generally meant more talking, and sometimes I just want to listen and enjoy a bourbon so I would say "I work in software development".

When I had Tia, I gave up my office job.  I loved the people I worked with, and the company I worked for, but honestly wasn't passionate about the position.  Plus returning to "work" after having Tia would mean that someone else was raising my child during the day and I was handing over about 85% of my paycheck for them to do so.  So working from home on yarn sales and knitwear design while raising Tia seemed like an obvious choice. I still attend yarn shows, I still dye yarn and run Good For Ewe, admittedly mostly during nap time.  I thought I would like it more than I do.  It turns out I need people.  That's another thing.

So a few days ago, on Instagram, another user messaged me and wanted to do a little post-sharing shout out kind of thing to promote each other.  Not normally my thing, since I just enjoy posting on my personal page and I don't really care if people enjoy the content.  I just feel the need to show people what I'm working on.  I like sharing my arts and crafts, and I like it when others share their projects with me.  Anyhow, I agreed to the post-sharing.  She posted a picture of a lace shawl I finished the other day (pictures coming...eventually) and I shared a picture of a pie she had recently posted.  It was a very pretty pie.  And she did a shout out to a "fellow SAHM and crafty lady".  SAHM is Stay At Home Mom.  And she couldn't have possibly known this, and I definitely know that she didn't mean any offense by it, but I didn't like being called that.  And I feel like a giant jerk for saying it- and I might regret this post ultimately, but I've had a couple glasses of wine so I'm going to keep going- but that's not how I identify myself.  It's not that being a SAHM isn't "enough" - quite the contrary.  I feel like it's at times harder than being a Work From Home Mom.  Because right now I'm a mom, until Tia is napping, and then I get to go be me again for a couple hours. I need those breaks to remember who I used to be, and I hope I'll be that person again when Tia is more independent.  Some women were born to be a mom.  Love every minute of being a mom.  And I'm not one of them.  I get frustrated.  I get lonely.  And I live for trunk show Saturdays when my husband takes Tia and I get to drive to another state and go teach and talk about yarn all day, get paid, and then come home.

I still identify as a provider.  Moms provide, but I still need that validation in the form of a paycheck. I know there's tons of ways to provide and none of them are less or more than others, only different. I need something on paper saying that I matter, because being home all the time with my tiny human isn't fulfilling every part of me. Mom life is so quiet and I need the noise and chaos of being a an artist and small business owner.

I intend to return to an office position when Tia is in school.  But we're still 5 years away from that, so I need to make my peace with life as it is, and figure out what I need to do to feel more fulfilled.

Other news:

I finished Rachel's wedding shawl.  I love how it turned out, and I gave it to her today.  We'll try to get pictures soon.

I'm still working on Le Socks.  I have only gotten an inch or so farther than the last picture.

I started a Knit-Together of the Breathing Space Sweater.  It's using the other sock yarn I bought in Paris, and 2 skeins of Sultry Steps in a royal blue color.  I like it very much, but I need to get a good picture of it now that I've added the second color (this picture is a couple days old).  I'm knitting together with 2 good friends in Southern Indiana- the owner of Serendipity Fibers (Melissa) and Amanda, who I met at Wooly Workshop 3 years ago and took to London with me in October.  I'm a little obsessed with the sweater, and I'm making much more progress than I thought I would.  In related news, my house is in desperate need of a dusting and bathroom cleaning.

I started CBD oil for my post-partum depression. CBD is a cannabis extract.  It has no THC, which is the chemical that gets you high.  I've been hearing good things for a while for the treatment of everything from migraines to fibromialgia to anxiety and insomnia and depression. I have the last 3, and chronic shoulder pain from muscle knots from anxiety and depression. It might be placebo effect at this point, but I am sleeping a little better. I have more energy, and I'm in a much better mood overall.  I've still gotten angry a few times this week, but the anger passed quickly, which is a huge improvement. The shoulder is less tight.  Most importantly for me, there have been no side effects whatsoever. I'm really sensitive to medication and had terrible side effects with the last 3 things I've been prescribed for my depression. This is better.  It's not something I want to be on forever, but I need something more than me to get me through this year.

I read A Wrinkle In Time.  The protagonist drove me crazy.

California Knitting

This past weekend was Stitches West, and I didn't go.  (I missed it a little when I looked at Instagram to see my yarn friends there but all in all, I'm glad I didn't make the trip this year)  Husband the Engineer, Tia and I were in California though, just the other end.  We were visiting Gavin's aunt in her nursing home who has been placed on hospice care.  My MIL was relentlessly insistent that she take Tia out to CA to meet her sister.  Gavin and I were not comfortable with her taking our baby to CA (she's almost 80 and to be honest, I wouldn't trust anyone to take my baby across the country without me) so we all went to Mission Viejo this past weekend.  It was fairly uneventful.  Lots of time in a nursing home with his aunt and mom (some of it knitting, when Tia permitted).  Very wiggly baby on 4 flights over 3 days (we missed our connection in Houston and ended up making it 3 days of flying instead of 2), and Gavin did ask if I wanted to go to a yarn shop or quilt shop while I was out there- and you don't have to ask me twice!

I got on my phone and found Orange Quilt Bee, which is in Orange and not Mission Viejo, but very worth the 30 minute drive.  I totally lucked out on some projects including a vintage travel baby quilt (which someone has commissioned and I've been struggling to find fabric) and lots of rainbow colors- bright color but low volume.  I plan on making a big gay wedding quilt for Gavin's cousin Lillian (his aunt's daughter) who introduced us to her lovely fiancee while we were out there.  I'll probably just do a simple half-square-triangle pattern because it's quick but extremely versatile.  I still have 2 more baby quilts that are now late because my sewing machine had to go in for repair, so after I finish those 2 quilts, I can start working on the vintage travel and big gay wedding quilt.

So I seem to be stuck here at my desk for a bit because the cat has crawled into my lap and has no intention of moving.  So here are my knitting projects:

Rachel's Getting Married Shawl:  Pattern is High Desert by Romi Hill, yarn is Mirrorball by me! I dyed I think 10 skeins of darker blues before Rachel liked this color (which totally isn't a big deal at all since I will just sell the other attempts at festivals this Spring).  There are 6 charts in this semi-circular shawl and since it starts at the smallest point and goes out, each chart is exponentially more work than the previous one.  I am on the biggest (5th) part of the shawl, and the pattern calls for 2 repeats of this chart for a medium size, and 4 repeats for a tall size.  My gauge is small and the bride is tall, so I am shooting for 3 repeats- the math doesn't change so it doesn't matter if there's an even number of repeats. My goal was to finish the first of the the 3 repeats on the trip and I made that by the skin of my teeth- I finished the WS row literally after landing but before we got to the gate.

The unfortunate thing about lace is that the whole time you're working on it, it doesn't look like anything.  Well, maybe wadded up panties.  The magic is in the blocking, and I'm probably 30 more hours of work away from that. It is coming along very well though.  I am thinking that I can maybe just maybe do 1 chart a week (which is bold) and possibly be done in 3 weeks and move on to the next wedding or baby shower project.  It's just one of those years- the brides and moms are keeping me busy.

Le Socks. 

The yarn is French, the pattern is plain.  It is perfect knitting to stash in your purse.  I put in a couple inches at the nursing home this weekend.  The socks have these really weird creases in them which are quite impossible to photograph.  I don't know if it's because the yarn is weird, or because it was maybe wet while I knitted it? (Baby drool).  Hoping they come out with a washing.  The yarn ball surely is getting smaller but it doesn't appear to have shrunken at all since the cast on of the first sock. So the plan is to finish these, wash them and wear them a couple times, and if I like them, knit a little pair of socks for Tia with the extra and put a little puffy paint on the bottom so they have little grippy bits.  She's not walking quite yet and we have hardwood floors, and I feel like it would just be evil to put her in non-grippy socks at this stage.

And since the cat is still not moving, here's a couple pictures of my office/sewing room.  It's kind of the "dump it" room of the house, and I would like to change that.  What that means is when we're about to have company and have things on the kitchen counter that we're working on, it gets dumped in the office.  So essentially every piece of clutter is part of a massive to-do list.  There's paperwork to switch my Roth IRA over to a new firm.  There's a pattern that needs edited and published, and 2 pieces of paper with email addresses for people waiting on that pattern.  There's yarn festival stuff that really should be in the basement but isn't.  There's fabric that people have given me that is slowly being worked into tote bags to be given away at these yarn festivals. There's things that need listed on eBay or Craigslist. There's shirts that developed a hole 2 years ago and have been waiting very patiently for a patch.  Checkbooks waiting to be balanced, memo boards to be hung...you get the point.  I'm hoping that posting these pictures will shame me into getting this room sorted out.

But honestly?  This room is too messy for Tia to come in and that really bothers me the most.  I like her hanging out with me when I'm working on something.  I just can't have her finding scissors on the floor and putting cords in her mouth.

And very lastly....seeds!

I had someone coming in and watering them every day while we were gone and turning the grow light on in the morning and off at night, but a bunch of them dried out and died.  Damn. But we have hot peppers, columbine, cherry tomatoes, bleeding hearts that refuse to germinate, sunset flowers, and campanulas.  I really want to add a ton of perennial flowers to the yard this year, but they're so expensive to buy in bulk so seeds it is! Wish me luck! 

Valentine's Day

This past weekend was my very favorite yarn event of the year- Winter Wooly Weekend in Ferdinand, IN.  It was my 5th year attending and first year co-organizing and I think it went really well.  I certainly enjoyed myself and I had several people make a point to tell me that they enjoyed it.  So, a win.  A great weekend with old friends and some new, lots of knitting, a little drinking, but a great break from life.

So the downside to getting out of the house and going to a retreat and working and being needed, is that you have to come home eventually.  And I've been a special sort of hell since I got back. I know that the path of recovery from PPD isn't always linear, but I really felt that I've been better.  And overall I have.  There have been fewer days of just crying for hours, there's been a sharp decrease on the bourbon intake, and I've been making things again, and I felt like things were getting better.  But this week has thrown me right back to where I was before I had my D&C and that rotten piece of placenta removed. 

I have been so lonely since I got back and feeling so positively worthless. I've been sad and so irrationally angry.  I slipped in baby puke yesterday and broke my favorite tea cup on the way down and I sobbed for 3 hours.  Then my mom posted some Obama-hate on Facebook over his new portrait and I just freaking lost it.  I didn't even like Obama that much, I just really hate the new guy and every time I see his smug expression as he dictates who gets disaster relief or takes away from food stamps, I just want to throat punch someone.  And this has been every day since the inauguration.

Sorry, I try not to get political, but the news has been a major source of my rage. The fact that my family (with exception of my husband) is entirely Pro-Trump makes it incredibly difficult because every time I try to talk about my feelings I'm told how irritating I am and then my cousin shows up wearing a "Don't be a snowflake" shirt to Christmas and going on about those fucking liberals. I seriously don't even want to go to family events anymore.  It's just not worth the anger that I feel the entire time I'm there. Luckily nobody in my family reads this blog, and if they do, it's nothing new. 

Anyhow.  I've been dealing with a lot of hatred issues lately.  And I'm trying to do all the things we talk about in group therapy like letting things go and being kinder to ourselves but I can see that I was getting better and now I'm slipping into a downward spiral and I can see it happening but I can't do anything about it.  I used to be a loving person and I just hate who I am now.  It's days like this that make me feel like the world would genuinely be better off without me, but then I wonder what would happen to my daughter and my cat and my houseplants, and I know that I just have to grin and bear it and hope that someday I won't feel like this.

I bought some yarn this weekend to make a sweater, but my computer is having issues and isn't talking to my phone (where the pictures are).  So hopefully I'll remember to tell you about breaking my 3 year yarn diet in the next post. Until then, here's a song called "I Hate" by Passenger and it makes me smile a bit on days like this.It has some language, but nothing worse than I already say.  Link

The Power of Rainbows

I kept on with the rainbow theme and made a headband.  I wouldn't normally make a steeked headband but it's actually the perfect size for a steeking sample. I should also be able to put together kits really easily for classes, so that's a plus.  I'll do another one soon in 2 colors for the more traditional crowd.  It's drying now, and it needs buttons but it should be ready to go to Greenwood in time for Roving Indiana as a shop sample.  Huzzah!  I also had a shop in Ohio contact me about a trunk show and a Fair Isle class because I had posted this on Instagram in several stages of completion- so Huzzah again!

Below the rainbow headband you might recognize....another sock. I did finish the second highly ribbed sock and have already worn it several times.  It's in the wash now with it's friends.  I assure, it looks just like a sock.  This particular sock yarn is more of the stash that's growing vintage. The brand is called Cheval Blanc and it's 75% superwash merino, 25% nylon.  It is a lovely melange of blues and I picked it up on my most recent trip to Paris, which wasn't recent at all (Maybe 5 years? 6?).  Anyhow, it's working up a lot like Regia and I look forward to my new blue workhorse socks. I mostly casted them on because I needed a small project for....

My trip to Florida!!! Tomorrow afternoon Bike Boy, the Spawn and I are jumping on an airplane here and debarking in warmer weather. My parents live in Sarasota so it's a wonderfully low-key trip and the only real planning is the plane ticket purchase. Hubster is actually coming back a few days earlier than I am since I work remotely and he doesn't, but the baby will stay with me in FL for the extra time where she will be spoiled rotten by my parents.

My other Florida project is this!  The picture isn't ideal.  It's a handpainted (by me) navy blue lace yarn and the pattern is called High Desert or something- it's a Romi Hill design.  My bestie picked it out as her wedding gift, which is in October but I'd feel better finishing the shawl closer to April. I have several other big wedding gifts to do this year, and probably several big baby shower gifts to do next year since that seems to be the pattern lately.

I really don't have a lot else going on.  I'm working a lot.  Bike Boy is working a lot.  Tia is drooling excessively and has started pulling up on the storage ottoman and kind of walking around it a bit.  I dread the day that she discovers that it opens, and I will find my good quilting fabrics all over the living room.  Oh well, as long as it's fabric and not bleach or something, it's really not that bad.

Oh! Part of my "working a lot" is finishing up some old patterns that are stuck somewhere in the editing and documentation process.  The first is Tormund, named after one of my very favorite Game of Thrones characters since he's redheaded and always covered in snowflakes. Here it is!

And if you want more information or would like the pattern, you can find that here.

I have a cowl and hat kit that was designed for Wooly Workshop, and that will be available after Wooly Workshop is finished (the week of Feb 12th).  I have a shawl in 2 colors that's in the final stages of test-knitting, and I'm extremely excited about that one, and I have a colorwork baby cardigan called Wee Celt that needs a tiny bit of tweaking on the yoke math and then a nice photo session, but that should be available too sometime soonish.  It will be so nice to have these off my desk and out in the world!

Ciao for now! 

The Dawning of the Gauge of Aquarius

Ask, and you shall receive. 

Two days ago I had a minor heart flutter as I realized I was about 2 inches of sock away from having 1 knitting project.  I have so much respect for monogamous knitters (only one project at a time), but guys- I just can't do it myself.  I need to feel needed by the masses. 

Okay, it's more like having a project for every situation.  There's a purse project.  A low light project.  A brain tickling project.  Those back burner projects. And I'm down to 1 back burner sweater and a nearly finished second sock.  But there's nothing I love enough to start right now.

So I asked the interwebz what I should make.  I had several legitimate suggestions, but still no inspiration.  

The next day I got a call from a yarn shop here in town asking if I would teach another fair isle + steeking class.  And that got the wheels turning.

I won't give too many specifics, but I swatched.  I've had this concept bumping around in my brain for about a year now, but I always envisioned it as a sweater.  Last night, it spoke to me in a shawl form.  Well, a very small swatch, but if the shop owner is on board, then I'll make it a shawl.

If she's not on board, I'll make a shawl anyway but not teach in her shop. I think it would be super fun to have as a kit for sale at yarn shows.

At this point in time, it is called the Gauge Of Aquarius and it is rainbow fabulous.

And socks.... nearly there!

I took today's Tia nap opportunity to finally weave in those whopping 3 ends on Brooke's shawl and take it outside for some glamour shots.  It's not -10 like it was all last week, but I wasn't hanging out too long, so there's only a couple decent pictures.  But it's done, and I will give it to her tomorrow or Thursday and have it off my plate forever. 

Do you remember those stretchy bands that came in potholder kits?  I believe those were my very first craft obsession and they paved the way for life as a capital K Knitter. I was at a yarn show last year or the year before- I think it was somewhere in Texas- and they were selling the metal potholder frames and wool bands that had been dyed by hand.  I must have been feeling nostalgic, because I bought enough to make 5 potholders. I made 1 right away and was kind of over it- the wool bands are much thicker than the acrylic ones and it was a bit of a struggle to get those last few rows in there. But I made one.  And then Gavin made one when he was in the hospital for ACL surgery. And then the other 3 kits got thrown in with the sock stash for some reason.

Then I was snooping around on Ravelry and I saw someone making potholders with the Sugar & Cream cotton on a potholder frame.  And then I remembered that I now own a nice metal frame.  And then those 3 kits were hanging out with it...and I made a potholder.  And then I made a second potholder, but the yellow bands keep breaking and I'm highly annoyed with the second.  There is one more kit, but I'm just really annoyed that I paid $8 for a potholder's worth of wool bands and they keep breaking. Argh! But here's the one I made the other day before things started snapping mid-weave.  Kind of cute, huh?

All for now.  I have a knitter in England who keeps e-mailing me asking about an unpublished pattern.  So I should probably work on that....

Toodle-oo!

 

2018: I made it!

Hello and happy 2018.  I hope yours is happy, healthy, and prosperous. I hope the same for mine.

Our Christmas was excellent.  Both of the knitted gifts were well received.  This is somehow the only photograph I got though...
It is a Red Wings hat that my hubby doodled in my scribble book a couple years ago and even named the yarns and colors he wanted, and then totally forgot about.  So, drawing short on cash and ideas, I knitted him this hat while I was in London in October. Totally stealth.  He loved it.  It's something I made up and those damn charts were nearly the death of me- at least they finished off my sanity. But after 4 false starts it turned out really well and he and I are both happy with it.  He immediately asked if I would make another for Tia. No. Never again.

My mom seemed to like her feather and fan scarf I made her, but I didn't get any pictures of it.  I really didn't take that many pictures, I spent most of the day trying not to let Tia eat the wrapping paper.  We all had a very merry Christmas and woke up 2 days later with a nasty cold. All of us.

So the past few days we've quarantined ourselves at home to be kind to the not sick people out there, and because it has been extremely cold and I just don't feel like leaving the house. Which has been really awesome for my finished project count!  I'm starting 2018 with the lowest project count I've had in years.  I actually feel a little naked.

So there's been....

A quilt for Project Linus. It's a bunch of 4" square scraps that are mostly leftover from my king sized quilt on my bed, but there's a few other random project scraps in there too.  I had no idea what to back it with, so I found some fabric that looks like it belongs in a comic book, and I bought the whole bolt.  It was on sale, and I'll use it to back several other baby boy quilts.  No regrets.  I've contacted the lady who organized drop-offs for Project Linus in my county, but it's been several days and I can't get her to return my calls.  I have another, smaller quilt to go to Linus too.

The Noah quilt. I've been slacking on this one- I think Noah is  like 4 months old now. It's a bunch of random Dr. Seuss fabrics.  No measuring (though I probably should have), just quick piecing.  I put the top together during a long Tia-nap, and then pieced together a bunch of scrap batting to fill it with.  Then I got side tracked and put it to the side for a couple weeks, but I finished the binding yesterday, threw it in the wash today (because I had lots of feline assistance) and will mail it to Noah's mom tomorrow.  Done!  I keep Dr. Seuss fabric on hand and buy a little every time I see it (which hasn't been in a while come to think of it) because it's so fun for little boy quilts.  I need to make 3 more for upcoming baby boys, and a little girl quilt too.  If I haven't lost steam by then, I'll try to make one or two for the gift stash pile.  I even added Noah's name in the upper right corner on this one- one of the perks of crafting for babies that are already here and named!

I finished the red wedding shawl!!! Okay I still need to weave in the ends, but I'm thrilled to have this beast done with. I ended up adding triple the border than I originally intended, but I'm glad I did, it looked too small after the first border section and I had tons of yarn left- it felt sinful to waste yarn I paid retail for.  It's blocking on my crazy guest room quilt right now, but I'll try to get outside and get some pictures of it in the snow before I give it to the bride.  Wedding is in March- so I'm golden. Now on to the other 4 wedding gifts for this year...oyyyyy.

And lastly, I finished a cowl that I'm designing for Winter Wooly Weekend next month.  I made the hat a few months ago but I felt like it should be part of a set, and I'm hoping to sell twice as much yarn since there's a matching cowl to go with it (fingers crossed!). I have the pattern written on paper, but need to get it in a document and then test-knitted and have the cowl photographed before the workshop, which is February 9-11.  By the way, if you're interested in attending Winter Wooly Weekend- holler! It's in southern Indiana and there's a few spaces left.  It's $250 for the weekend if you're staying on site, or $180 if you're staying elsewhere at night.  It's really fun, and it's a really great deal for all the food, lodging, classes and supplies you get. Definitely my favorite knitting event of the year. Bags are little stitch marker kits that go with the hat pattern. Need to make 40 more of those soon. 

So with all the finished projects of the past few weeks, my current projects list includes...

1.  Knitted sock (part 2)
2.  Gramps cardigan (need to figure out where I left off)- also knitting
3.  Kraken cross stitching
4.  Tia's baby quilt that keeps getting bigger

I think that's it actually.  I have a couple projects in deep hibernation, but they'll probably stay that way until I get all the wedding and baby gifts done.  I can't remember the last time I could count ALL my projects on one hand.  Frankly it's unnerving.

And here's the list of design projects that I would LOVE to finish by the end of January to get them off my desk...

1.  Tormund- fair isle baby sweater. Needs oodles of resizing math.
2.  Wee Celt- fair isle baby sweater.  Needs something, can't put my finger on it.
3.  Vicissitude Shawlette- needs math on part 4 and total reformatting. I designed it for a knit-along organized by some local yarn shops.  They NEEDED it done a year ago.  So it's done...and has been...but they won't return my calls or e-mails on when this knit-along might be happening.  If I can't get an answer by March, I'm putting together kits and going rogue.
4. Cable Me That Cowl- the reddish cowl above.  Hat pattern is done and proofed and good to go.

I might be escaping the cold for a bit towards the end of January and visiting my parents in Sarasota.  In which case I will have to finish a bunch of designs and Wooly workshop projects BEFORE I go (not unreasonable) and then start a fresh project! Because hey- vacay knitting means I get to play with something new.

Happy New Year!!!!

What the sock?

Behold! I made a sock!

It's a Christmas Miracle.

Okay, it's not at all.  It's the first of a pair I started back in June when I was still attached to my breast pump for 5-7 hours a day. It's some of the oldest sock yarn in my stash, some Three Irish Girls I bought maybe 8 years ago and have fallen out of love with.  But I've been attacking my sock stash from the oldest side this year, and this yarn was next.

I did a picot hem, which I like, and Farrow ribbing, which I like.  At least I like the look of it- the construction is another story. It's just very slow.  But I've been working on this sock lately because I (a) have finished most of my other knitting projects and (b) don't love the other projects I have going- and they're the wrong size to travel with.  So yesterday, with a glass of nice whiskey and the company of good friends, I finished the first sock. And somehow I was 3 stitches off on my decreases on needles 1 & 3. And the toe just didn't look right.  I knitted on.

It had been so long since I made a pair of patterned socks that I'd forgotten to stop working in the pattern and switch to plain stockinette, and I wasn't smart/sober enough to think about why it looked funny.  I also realized that in order for the pattern to work with my gauge, needles 1 & 3  had 15 stitches each, and needles 2 & 4 had 18 stitches each. Oyyy.....

So this morning, I took the cat to the vet (she's as fine as an 8 y/o tripod can be- just her annual check-up and vaccines), poured a strong cup of tea, and sat down under my good light and ripped back the woven in ends.  I ripped back the perfect kitchener graft.  And then I ripped back the entire toe that took me most of last evening.  So I'll try it again tonight, plain, with the right amount of decreases.  And then someday I might think about making that second sock. 

I do have 2 other projects on the needles at the moment, but I don't really care for either of them. The first is a cardigan that hasn't been touched since February.  It's red, it's lovely and it has soooo many cables.  Which I'm just not digging right now.  It's also not going to fit until I lose about 10 more pounds, so there's very little motivation to work on it other than freeing up that basket.

The second is a lovely burgundy shawl that my dear friend Brooke will be wearing in her wedding in March.  The pattern is Rock Island by Jared Flood, and I hate it passionately. I started it and frogged the first part at least 8 times before moving on to the second part and deciding to replace the cursed border with one that I like.  I have found a new border to put in but there exists one more roadblock to this shawl that is needed for a wedding that is getting closer and closer...

I can't freaking see it. 

My vision got a little blurry when I was pregnant for Tia, which I've heard is a totally normal thing, and I kept waiting for my normal vision to return.  But that baby is 7 months old now and I can't see a thing.  So my next project is to get glasses, then pick up eleventy billion border stitches in a very fine deep red yarn, and make a very elaborate border.  I'm sure it will be no big deal, once I can see what I'm doing. 

I've been working on a few quilt tops too, for new babies and project Linus and even one for Tia.  I have 3 tops made and need to sandwich them and quilt them, which isn't my favorite part.  So that's just kind of a theme with all my projects right now.  Everything is just a little bit blehhhhhh.

I'll keep chugging along just to get them done, and someday I'll find a project that excites me again.  Hopefully.  If not, I'll get my butt back to ceramics class.  Unbalanced tea cups, anyone?

In case you are interested in the outcome of the D&C, the results were pretty gross but totally not cancerous.  Let's just say "complications from childbirth that could have gotten really bad, but luckily hadn't done so yet."  If you're curious from a medical standpoint, let me know and I can elaborate privately, but it's a bit gross for the general public.

Simply Perfect

So if you are an Instagram follower (I'm knitpurldrop on there too), then you'll know I've been a little obsessed with this simple patchwork quilt. 

As I (think) I mentioned last post, it's just a little destash project- a charm pack I've had for a couple years, the leftovers from the backing of my brother's quilt- I even sewed together batting scraps to fill it! I'd never done that before but the pile of scraps was taking up entirely too much space in the storage ottoman, and I was able to make a dent in that wad with this quilt.  For some reason I was thinking it was going to be hard to piece together batting scraps, but it took about 10 minutes and some zig-zag stitching.  Not a big deal at all.

So here's the quilt, as simple as it gets.  Just simple patchwork.  Simple diagonal quilting (I drew the lines on in pencil and just sewed over it).  Then I just pulled the backing forward and bound it like that- the whole quilt took about 3 hours and I'm ridiculously happy with it.  It's been added to the gift stash for future baby girls.  There is one tiny change I would make if I had to do again, and I'd adjust my machine so the stitches were longer in the actual quilting part.  I normally do that, and I'm a bit rusty and I just forgot. This might be the first actual quilt I've finished in 2017. 

I also had quite a bit of knitting time today at the Dr.'s office.  I'll spare you the gory details, but I've been having some girly problems since I had Tia and then went back on birth control. (One and done for me)  Anyhow, after about 45 minutes of Feather & Fan with some Posie by Good For Ewe, I found out that there's a mass in my uterus.  We were unable to tell exactly from the ultrasound if it's a fibroid, a polyp or something else, so I'll be having a D&C as soon as there's an open OR- probably the first of the year.  It's totally not a big deal, just an outpatient surgery.  The worst part is the anesthesia, which always takes a couple days for me to shake off. It's probably nothing bad, but I have a family history of uterine cancer on my mom's side, and I'm BRCA2 positive, so it's better to be safe than sorry. Years ago, I came to terms with the fact that my uterus would try to kill me at some point, so I've been staying on top of my reproductive health as best I can.

I also wanted to say thank you for all the kind words on my post a couple weeks ago about my PPD.  There's such a stigma about mental health and disorders, and it's been really good for me to talk about it and let it out a bit, and I've had a couple people open to me about their own issues. so it's worth it to know that I'm not suffering through this alone- and there is some sort of comfort in this miserable company.  There are starting to be more okay days than bad days, which is a very slow step, but a step in the right direction nonetheless.  

The Great Destash

Over the past year, I have been on a serious yarn diet (only bought 2 skeins of yarn- seriously!) and sold a ton of old stash in sweater quantities on eBay.  Did well on some, not so well on others, but trading old stash for cash is always nice.  My tastes have changed in yarn, so it's natural to have some from old phases that can go to a new home.

I've also been on a destash group on Ravelry, that makes you fess up to yarn coming in to the stash and yarn leaving, and it's all done by grams.  So you check in at the end of each month, say "Hi, I purchased 250 grams of yarn/fiber, and I knitted 745 grams".  Stash sold or gifted doesn't count, but whatever.  It counts to my checking account!

But that system has been keeping me honest about my stash in and stash out, and tracking it has been really great when facing a somewhat intimidating stash.  It felt like I hadn't knitted or crocheted very much this year- and I haven't compared to some people in the group- but it's nice to go back month by month and see progress.  And holes starting to form in the stash.  I dream of one day fitting ALL of my personal stash in a smallish chest which currently holds my sock yarn. And thanks to finishing some old projects, that dream might come true in a couple years.  I'll keep you posted.

But here's my most recent finished project- the Uglysweater.  Or Mrs. Weasley Sweater, depends on the day.

Here it is in it's unblocked beauty, about 30 seconds after weaving in the last end.  I started this sweater with my BFF Rachel (you'll be hearing a lot more about her, she's my other-other half) back in February at a Superbowl party. She asked me to teach her to knit last year, and we've been doing this by starting projects together that teach her different techniques.  She's the fastest learner I've ever seen, and she'll probably publish a fair-isle knitting book by the end of next year.  Anyhow, she wanted to knit a sweater, we picked out a pattern, and we casted on together at a Superbowl party.  We'd work to the the next part of the pattern, stop, and get together so I could show her how to separate the sleeves from the body, how to pick up stitches, etc.  When she got close to finishing the first sleeve, I figured she was good to go on her own, plus I wanted to have that sweater out of my knitting bag.  So here it is, unblocked.  I wore it on Thanksgiving, unblocked.  And it's sitting next to my laundry basket, still unblocked.  I'll get to it someday. It will be fantastic for a Christmas Sweater party.

Yarn is Crazy Yarn Mill Ends by Stonehenge Fiber.  Each skein is unique, but I found skeins that all had the same Kelly green in them. I used just over 5 skeins.  I'm still a little heavy from having a baby, so I hope it gets more flattering as time goes on. 

I've also been trying to sew lately, since I was really in a quilting groove before Tia was born, and the chair in front of my sewing machine is one of my happiest places, but it's hard to get there with a 6 month old.  I've also been on a fabric destash, since BFF Rachel brought me 2 enormous bags of fabric that someone had gifted to her and I had a bit of a growing stash of my own.  I've been making tote bags at an alarming rate with the fabric from Rachel, which I'll give to people who buy lots of yarn from me at fiber festivals.  2 birds with one stone!  But yesterday I dug into my stash for a quick project and found an old charm pack that was a door prize at a show years ago.

I put this little quilt top together in about 40 minutes, and then I found a backing fabric that is the absolute perfect size- leftover from a quilt I made my brother last Christmas.  I'm even sewing together batting scraps to stuff it with- how thrifty am I? (I mean, how cheap?)

I have it shown here on top of the backing fabric so you can kind of see what it will look like when it's done.  It's definitely a girl baby quilt, but it's not super girly, and I like that.  It's also on the small side, which I used to hate but now that I have a baby, I love this size for strollers and car seats. But that's the entire charm pack, so that's what size it is.  I'll quilt it on my Janome machine, so it will just be diagonal stitching, nothing fancy.  I'm not paying someone with a long-arm to finish this destash quilt for me.  The only question that remains is....what do I do with it?  Tia doesn't need another blanket, as much as I like it.  I have a quilt in progress for her, which I'll show off when I get back to it.  But I'm torn between putting it in the gift stash for future baby girls, and giving it to Project Linus- because I haven't donated any baby blankets for a year or two.  Decisions, Decisions.

And lastly, Madeline sends her love and requests more treats.  She's spoiled rotten and still my little baby.

Ch-ch-changes

I highly doubt anyone is reading this anymore, and that might be for the better.

It's been a long time since I wrote.  Bike Boy and I finally got married.  We moved to a bigger house.  Good For Ewe grew.  I got pregnant and cut my hours at the software company.  We did a bunch of work on the house.  I had that baby (Tia, girl, now 6 months old). I quit my job at the software company and took Good For Ewe full time.   Good For Ewe stopped growing.  I started going to therapy for postpartum depression. I began looking for part-time work and didn't find any. I started drinking a lot more bourbon.  So now you're caught up.

I'm sure I'll raise some eyebrows for putting this in words, but motherhood isn't what I expected.  Some things are better, and some things aren't.  I love my little girl so much, but I'm not as enamored with being a mom. I go to group therapy weekly, and we talk about transitions in our roles.  I went from artist/department coordinator to just mom. All day every day. I know keeping a teacup human alive is a thing, I just struggle feeling satisfied with my life when I'm crying at noon, in sweats that I've been wearing for 3 days with hair that hasn't been washed in a week. And that's just life now.  And I feel like a complete jerk for not feeling all glowy and motherly.  I'm just not that kind of person.  I wish I'd known that sooner.

So here is my old/new journal of my life.  There will be some knitting.  There will be some quilting.  Gardening.  Baking.  But I'm also going to get real with you about what it's like to be stuck at the bottom of a hole, trying to claw your way out, holding a baby.

See you around.

End of Summer Posting

Summer is quickly winding down and the leaves are starting to change. The garden has been taken over by volunteer pumpkins from last year's compost heap and the tomatoes are slowing down for the year. I've been so busy with both jobs lately, I didn't bother planting a row of radishes or turnips for my fall garden.

Our next door neighbor is a very nice man, but doesn't take care of his lawn. His back yard is some kind of invasive plant sanctuary- thistles 20 feet high, poke weed, poison oak and honeysuckle and it's all coming over the fence and into my garden. It's a losing battle I just don't have the time for, so after I pull the sweet potatoes we'll be laying out some flagstone to create a buffer for a few feet that will hopefully slow the weeds down. I wish he would move out and someone would come and take care of that poor house and yard. But he isn't, so I need to do what I can to protect my garden from his mess. I'm also worried about how it could hurt our home's value when we try to sell our house (not in the foreseeable future, but it's a small house and we might need something bigger someday).

Anyhow, there is an abundance of pumpkins, tomatoes and peppers now. BFF Rachel and I are going to be making a big batch of pepper jelly next week and I'll start pulling up the plants, spreading this summer's compost and tilling under for the fall in the week or so after that. I'd love to get a bunch of it done over Labor Day weekend, but Tall/Dark & Handsome is set on boating in KY, which is also nice, just not overly helpful for taking care of the to-do list.

I've been knitting on two projects lately, a purple baby cardigan called "Wee Liesl"- a Ysolda pattern for a pregnant friend at work. I used an Opal handpainted sock yarn I've had stashed for a few years. It's superwash, so I figured I'd save it for gift knitting. I've had the pattern and yarn picked out for a while, I've just been waiting for someone to have a girl. I don't know that this friend is having a girl yet, I just had a feeling so I cast on. It's finished now with exception of the buttons, but I'll wait until it's finished blocking before I put those on. I found silvery-gray shell buttons that bring out the plum color.  As you can see, Madeline the wool snob is a big fan.

I'm still chugging along (with a lot less momentum) on the green fitted February Lady Sweater. I think I'll need to find another hank of this yarn for it, and I'm dreading that and that's probably the anchor in the progress. That and I've been working on wedding things instead. I never actually knit at home anymore and progress on bigger projects (that don't fit in my purse) is slow-going. I also realized that Christmas is only a few months away now, and I should probably start with Christmas crafting. I've been working on a smaller quilt for Gavin's parents as a gift at some point- I was hoping to give it to them at the wedding as a thank you for paying for the rehearsal dinner. I had a really good weekend on it and thought I could give it to them for Christmas but now I'm not as sure. But I do want to knit a pair of socks for a friend, a couple hats or scarves for co-workers and a couple potholder/dried herb sets for a few foodie-friends as well. Extended family will probably have another year of jellies and dried herbs from the garden. So far I have 2 jars of dried peppers and a Rastafarian potholder.

I have also been working on a baby quilt for a friend due on the 14th. I meant to finish it and give it to her a couple months ago, but I didn't even turn on my sewing machine all through July and August. I made another blue and yellow quilt like I made for Mary Jane, but I ran out of fabric and had to go a tiny bit smaller on one side. I had some really cool Dr. Seuss fabric that I used on the back- it's such an awesome print and I didn't want to cut any of it and risk beheading some of my favorite characters, so I just made the entire quilt back all one Dr. Seuss print.  I managed to get the top done last night and quilt it, but it still needs bound. Madeline is very involved in the quilting process and I can't seem to get any pictures without her flopping down in the middle of "her" quilt. I'll make her one soon with scraps for her window seat.