With 14 days of classes plus a week of final exams remaining, I've been trying my best to contain a multitude of feelings that don't typically belong together. I've been supressing them with knitting and watching Sex and the City reruns, resulting in one lace sleeve and Carrie Bradshaw's voice stuck in my head, trying to sort out my love life for me.
The first feeling is...disinterest? Lack of caring? As in...all I need is a D in that class...so I'll stick to that. I've never been this...just bleh before. Combine that with feeling number 2, he kissed me and I felt feeling number 1 again. Not normal. These aren't relevant to today's posting...but there's also hatred, confusion and sadness. Not because I'll be missing Purdue, but because my dog's been sick lately. That hurts more than failing any math test or missing any guy.
I'd been waiting for the Russian to make his move since before Spring Break and on Friday night I got all dolled up and went salsa dancing and he did it. He kissed me. And nothing. He kissed me again and I faked thrill and excitement but really there was nothing. So this leads to the Carrie Bradshaw moment...has senioritis taken over my love life?
Gustavo, Salsa club DJ/Grad student is psycology says that because I've been mentally preparing to leave here for so long, anything to do with Purdue like classes and guys have completely become a non-event for me. They're just there. I hope it's not permanent. Or lesbianism. It's just a little dissapointing that as soon as I finally really truly get over Quail-man, I seem to get over men in general.
But how normal is it to lose interest in everything? Will it come back? Will I get this way in England to, or will I hit the ground hunting for the perfect man. Is Prince William currently seeing someone? Scratch that last one. I feel like there's a line between preparing myself and protecting myself, but I'm just not sure which side I'm standing on.