Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Fiber Safari

Just another normal day here at Paige's house. I fed the catfish (Jethrow and his friends) leftover Angelfood cake, threw rocks at the snakes trying to eat the Angelfood cake, found the cat finishing off the Angelfood cake, and then fished a grasshopper out of my bathtub. I have no idea how that grasshopper got in the second-floor bathtub, but I hope I never see him again. At least I hope I never see him again in the bathtub.

I also went on an exotic fiber safari! Which of course means I took pictures of the roving I got at the State Fair, round 2, and the potholder I finished during the Clydesdale judging. Since I took this picture of the potholder in the wild, I finished the matching potholder which means...I have officially started my Christmas Crafting (not just Christmas knitting since these beasts are crocheted).

So here we are, the Fiber Safari (I'm sure I could market that. Take the doors off my Jeep, throw in some harnesses and drive people around to look at feral hanks and skeins. I know...I have lost the touch.)

(In a Steve Irwin accent)
Right mates, coming up on your left, we've got a rare species indeed. This is one of the most rare plants in the American Midwest, and it's called the "dishcloth cotton potholder bush". It grows perfectly formed potholders, but they're hidden behind poisonous purple flowers that bite and have huge fangs! Large price to pay for a potholder, mate.
Glad we got out of Potholder territory. Unfortunately, we've moved on to the Wild Roving Hills. There are some truly fierce beasts out this way, including the Sticky Orange Border Leicester Bushes and the Shetland trees. Let's be real quiet and hopefully we can sneak up on one...
Crikey! That was gorgeous! Have you ever seen such a brilliant orange? Don't let that soft look fool yah! She's absolutely lethal! That venom will have you dead in ten minutes!

All right, now I'm going to remind everyone to keep your hands, feet, and small children inside the vehicle, stay quiet and not to make any sudden movements. We're coming up on the Shetland River now, and there's more than just poisonous snakes here. Now if you look very carefully -ah- I said no sudden movements!- on the right, you'll see a perfect specimen of a raspberry Shetland roving.

That was a close one. One of me mates on the earlier tour said that there was a bright green Wild Shetland hiding out in the Kromski caves, just about a mile and a half from here. The bright green Wild Shetlands are by far the most dangerous of all of the Shetland breeds. Not only have they got a constrictor-grip that will suffocate you before you can reach for your drop spindle, but they've got a bacteria in their staples that will melt your fingers before you are even able to ply.Scary, huh?

2 comments:

Jaclyn Bailey said...

You are silly. Your rovings are beautiful though, as is the potholder

laurie said...

I think maybe sniffing too much wool has sent you overboard..lol
Nice safari( in queen elizabeth voice)glad to see all the sites!