Sunday, February 1, 2009

Hey Paige! Your dork is showing!

For the people who haven't known me that long: I study English literature- that's kind of why I'm in England at the moment. I am taking a course called "English Novels and Their Settings" and we read a novel a week for it. Then we turn in a 25-page paper before we can go home for Spring Break (and yes, I'm going to come home for Sping Break...I'll get to that later) and I chose to do my paper on the first book we read this term, which happened to be one of my all-time favourites, Bram Stoker's "Dracula". This isn't my first run-in with gothic themed entertainment featuring the dark creatures, I was completely in love with Angel from Buffy all through high school, and was thrilled when he got his own spin off. Consequently, I was crushed when they both ended (but I still really like David Boreanez as the guy in Bones. He's such a DILF). I thought the vampire obsession was over with until my dad, of all people, told me to watch HBO's new show, True Blood, based on Charlaine Harris' Southern Vampire mystery series. I was honestly a little reluctant to watch it, but I figured...why not? I was hooked. And then Twilight hit the theaters.
I told myself, no way in hell am I going to see Twilight. It's way too teeny-bopper for me (not that I can really speak, I've only been removed from my teenage years for all of 8 months). I resisted. The books got rave reviews and sold out. There were Twilight-themed parties. I was apparently the only one NOT into Twilight. Even my flatmate, Rosie, who I love dearly told me (in secret- she didn't want to other flatmates to know she reads Twilight. I think I'm safe posting it on a knitting blog though, this is the last place my flatmates are going to look) that she loves them and that I should give them a try. Psht. Whatever. Who needs Twilight when you've got Sookie? Right?

And then I ran out of Sookie books. The next one won't be published until May. Crap. It's okay, I told myself. I've got TONS of great books I can read, since I buy literature like I buy sock yarn and lipstick (bought some lipstick today too). But then it occured to me, I'm writing a 25 page paper on vampires. More specifically, I'm writing a 25 page paper on how vampires (starting with Dracula, going up to today's vamps including Quintin Tarintino's Dusk 'till Dawn vamps, Underworld/Van Helsing vamps/True Blood vamps/and now Twilight vamps) are a physical manifestation of repressed sexual desire including but not limited to sado-masochistic thoughts and tendencies and that I needed to go see it in the name of research. You have to be living under a rock to not know about Twilight, so I figured I'd have better luck using that in my paper than an ex-Confederate soldier vamp in Louisiana.

So I looked up the movie times. Today was the last day that it is playing in Colchester- it was a sign. It played at noon, which meant I needed to be up at 10 to get ready and get the bus to town to see it in time. And then there's always time for a little shopping afterwards, right? Besides, I need a damn good reason to get out of bed in the mornings, I've made the shift from "not a morning person" to "nocturnal" and I really need to break that habit and see the sun for once. So I went to bed at 5 (we generally play something along the lines of card games or Hackey Sack until then on a Saturday so the party people can sober up before they go to bed) and went to sleep just as the sun was rising, so maybe 7:30? And woke up at 10. It wasn't fun, but dammit, I was going to see Twilight. By myself. Chances are I'd be back before the rest of the flat was even getting up.

Saw Twilight. Liked most of it. Especially liked that the heroine was a very pale vegetarian. Really liked that the cute vamp that we're all supposed to love played Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter (told you my dork was showing) and that his vamp-mom was that girl who played Ava in Gray's Anatomy- you know, the one who lost her memory and fell madly in love with Alex? I liked the story, but I think I would have liked it better if I had gotten into Twilight before I got into Southern Vampire. After reading the grown-up stories, it's so backwards to jump into the teen angsty-love story. That being said, I have a bone to pick with you, Stephanie Meyer.

I know that you wrote Twilight and all, so you can take a few liberties with your vampires, but you went a little nuts in a creature that is generally decided upon already.

1. Vampires are creatures of the NIGHT, not the overcast Washington day.
2. When vampires are exposed to sunlight, no matter how indirect, they generally burn or turn to ash. THEY DON'T SPARKLE LIKE DIAMONDS. WTF?
3. They sleep all day. I don't care if it's in a coffin or a bed with black satin sheets, they sleep during the day. Your vampires don't sleep at all. That bothers me, but not as much as the next point.
4. Where the hell are the fangs? Your vampires are practically gumming people to death. That's just not very vampy. Some vamps have fangs that are fully extended at all times (Dracula) and most have retractable fangs that pop out when they're about to feed or about to...get nekked. (Premature Fangulation?) Yours don't have fangs AT ALL. Fix it so people will take your vampires seriously.
5. I also have issues with the "venom" you claim is released during biting, which causes the change into vamp-ness. It's generally agreed upon that an EXHANGE of blood between sire/human is required. You make it sound like a radioactive spiderbite. Is she going to start sucking blood or start shooting webs out of her wrists?
6. Telepathic vampire loves Bella because he can't read her thoughts? Puh-lease. That's True Blood backwards.
7. Edward is hot. Good choice on casting. The were-wolf is pretty hot too. And I haven't even read the books- but that cute Indian guy has were-wolf written all over him. Too bad I'm not 17. And ridiculously famous enough to have a shot with either of them.

Okay, now that that's off my chest, here's a little knitting content. I finished the Noro striped socks, which I have named "The Tube" socks on Ravelry after the London Underground (aka The Tube- I thought it was clever.) I have tons of yarn leftover. I highly doubt that it's enough for another pair of socks, but it's certainly enough for a third sock so that I can rotate them and not wear through them so quickly. Here they are seen posing with my new purse and my Lizard Ridge blanket, also made of Noro Kureyon- just not the sock weight. I also finished a fan and feather scarf that I started the day before I returned to England to keep me busy on the plane. When you knit something for 11 hours straight, you generally lose interest. I left it sitting in a bag until the other day and then cracked it out again and finished it. My camera died before I got a chance to take a picture of it, but I'll recharge and remedy that. I hate having blank spaces on my Ravelry notebook. I'll also add a picture of my top-down raglan (called The Clash, you'll see why eventually) to ravelry. It's nothing blog-worthy though. Yet.
So that's about it. Back to my vampires. I really need a good grade on this paper.


Eternal Sunshine said...

Hehe, premature fangulation!

Anonymous said...

Love the socks.. really neat. A new purse? Did you not think I read this blog? We REALLY need a new purse? Whateva..Whateva..


Anonymous said...

Nothing is safe,even on a knitting blog. You are always under the watchful eye of the C of M. and often their daughters.

Paige Darling said...

Glad to still be under your protection, representative. Is it too personal to ask how the knitted sacrifice was accepted by one of those daughters?

paisley penguin said...

I just finished reading Twilight cause I wanted to know what all the fuss was about. I plan to read the rest of the series. I am from Washington - yeah it's overcast a lot. The closest I have been to Forks is Port Angeles. I actually thought Stephanie's differences to traditional vamps was interesting. Maybe I'm just in the mood for something a little different.

I wouldn't say this was such a great series cause the beginning was a little hard for me to get in to. I am curious about the movie so have it saved on my Netflix list. Wonder if they will make the rest of the series in to movies?

HeHe - premature fangulation!

Great socks!

BTW - finally going to try your red velvet recipe this weekend!

Paige Darling said...

You know, Paisley? I'm starting to enjoy the differences as well. I'm still pissed about the lack of fangage, but it would be pretty neat to sparkle in the sun. Something similar happens to me when I go in the sun: my translusence blinds people. It's not quite a sparkle, but certainly not normal!

And I now have a SERIOUS twilight problem. It's been less than a week and I'm about to finish book 3. I'm not even going to think about book 4 until (a) I finish 6 term papers or (b) it comes out in paperback. Not paying that much for a book that takes me 4 hours. Good luck with the red velvet cake...